Michele's Blog

Thursday, December 29, 2005

One bleak moment...

...was the moment I saw my MRI.

You know that feeling you have when you see a bad photo of yourself? "Ew... I'll hide this. I definitely look way too chubby in this picture. I can lose weight, though! I can work out. Besides, the angle was bad, I was tired, and what was I thinking when I put on that shirt!" etc, etc.

My MRI films, with their lesions and stripes, were completely exposing. They were obscene. I wanted to take them down from the wall, I wanted to deny that they were mine. Because I couldn't explain them away, I couldn't excuse them, and I couldn't change them by losing weight, working out, putting on more makeup, having lipo or getting a tan.

I saw them and turned into a pillar of salt.

"Once he finds out who he is, what can console him? ...for on Earth Everyone who lives, lives in a dream." --Calderon de la Barca


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